Hi everyone, Welcome to Stalkin’, the app that allows you to find background information, personal details, or straight up dirt on anyone you can imagine. The sky’s the limit when using our app, but you must agree to our terms of service, so we have permission to stalk you back.

Disclaimer: Stalkin’s terms of service may include vague terms such as “we” or “us” to reference ourselves. If you are at anytime confused, do not reach out, terms of service are not meant to be read anyways.

1. Stalkin’ is not responsible for any emotional or mental trauma that may come from the information found on our website. You went looking for the information, so do not blame us if you find someone you do not like.
2. We as a company reserve the right to collect the data that you do and do not share with our app. Because this is a free application, it is only fair that you give us your social security numbers.
3. The data we collect may be sold to third parties that want to sell you a product they know you do not need.
4. Stalkin’ will allows me allowed access to your microphone, even when it is turned off. We need to know any and all information about you to give to the people who are searching for you on our app.
5. We reserve the right to begin charging you for any currently free features. Stalkin’ is still a very small and new up, but the second it gains popularity, we will being charging you and premium rate without notice. Did you not give us your banking information? No worries we found it.
6. By using our app, you agree to be tracked whether or not our app is currently in use or not. We need to know where you are at all times to make sure the information, we give out about you is accurate. It would be a disgrace to not know every detail about your movement considering we are “Stalkin’” you.
7. Stalkin’ is not responsible for the accuracy of any information found on our app. It is just our best guess.
8. Stalkin’ is not responsible for any security breaches that may occur on our app. Sometimes that budget just does not allow for secure firewalls. We may have to start charging you if this is a reoccurring issue.
9. Any and all data that is collected by our team will be used to target very specific advertisements at you. The data we are authorized to collect does not only include data from our app, but all other websites and applications as well. Your search history from three years ago is also fair game.
10. These terms of service applies to any and all parties that choose to use Stalkin’, unless you pay us enough money. We can and will be bribed if the price is right.

Terms of service items are often repetitive, redundant, and very similar to those of other companies. I chose these 10 terms of service items because these are the terms of service I saw most often during my research. Most often in terms of service, we see lines referring to tracking abilities, microphone/camera usage, and data collection. I knew when I was writing my parody I wanted to touch on these specific things, because this is what we most often see in real terms of service. Additionally, I wanted to make the terms of service very invasive to show how we really do not know what we are getting in to. Not very many people actually read the terms of service contracts, because of this there may be dangerous and invasive rights we are giving to companies and don’t even know it.